Wednesday, 4 April 2012

the avoided subject

Do you blog when you are down? ... I do, but not 'about' being down.

Having suffered from serious depression since I was 12 I tend to not really talk about how I am feeling mood wise. Those that live with me can not miss it though, but to the outside world I don't really like to talk about it. 'fine' & 'ok' are given when asked how I am, or if asked while I'm online I usually manage to avoid the question and ask about them.

Some people like to talk about how they feel all the time, which is probably very healthy and for the little day to day things I probably do too ... but with depression that is always there, just with different degrees of bearable-ness, I prefer to try and ignore it ... no-one can do anything or say anything to make it better so avoidance often works ... but not always ... Sometime it all gets too much ... 


... Depression is a funny thing isn't it ... unless you have suffered with it, it's hard to understand the total blackness and sick feeling when it descends ... It's also not really something I have seen many people blog about. Is that because there is a part of us that feels ashamed for feeling depressed? Ashamed that are lives are not perfect or how we want them to be? or do we see depression as a weakness? And yet when I look at my friends and family, I would say that probably over half have suffered with it at one time or another.

I not writing this to say 'poor me, I am having a bad day' ....... more that I just realised that no-one blogs about it ... which I haven't either ....................

anyway on a totally different note, I have chopped of 5 inches off the bottom of my hair ... it still comes down to my waist, but it needed it ...


I kind of feel all it needs is some goggly eyes and it could be a little creature ... or maybe some glasses .......... maybe I could sell it as a beard! haha

4 comments:

  1. Jo from Little women sold her hair and there are some charities now that take real hair to provide wigs for cancer sufferers. look into it cos that is a lot of hair :-)

    As for Depression you know how I suffer from it. It helps me to talk it out and ask friends for prayer. I have also blogged it on Rainbow Days but not for a while. I think you are right some people are afraid to talk about it and like you try to bury it so that it seems easier to cope with but it just festers and gets worse. Having someone who understands and will support you through whatever it is that you are struggling with. You know where I am if I can help xxx

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Teri, I have looked into it before, and it has to be over 6 inches to be made into a wig, so my 'trim' isn't quite long enough ... but I would give it if I had the lot cut off!

      I don't think ignoring it is the same a burying it ... I have talked over my depression so much that re-hashing it does not help for me ... there is only one reason for my depression and yes it sometimes does get too much, but I find talking about it constantly makes it worse. I guess everyones depression is for different reasons and we find the best way for us personally to deal with it. I am also not saying I don't talk about it at all ... just not to everyone ... just those I am living with know and they are the best support ever.

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  2. Yes I do understand. I waa talking to someone today about depression. She had asked someone what it felt? The person replied they felt numb all the time but its not like that for me. I think I feel all things and quite intensely but the tablets help me not to go to extreme reactions. We are all different. And deal and cope with things in our own way xxx

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  3. Depression is never an easy subject, but I agree that sometimes you just need to open up about it rather than trying to hide it, or else you go and do something silly like break down for no apparent reason in front of all your friends...

    That's a lot of hair you've chopped off there! I'd love to have long hair like yours again but mine just doesn't seem to grow!

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I love reading your comments ... thank you xx

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